misspumping

To return or not to return ? that is the question at hand

2011-10-23T07:54:00.000-07:00

Like the saying goes it goes round the block and comes down to the same thing MAN-WOMAN DRAMA.

I have recently become acquainted with a nice young woman
who is as intelligent as they come.However when it come to issues of the heart she is as confused as the best or in some situations the worst of us.

Her quandry right now is that in her younger years, whilst at the university she fell head over heels in love (i see eyes rolling) with a certain young man.

As fate would have it, they got married and set up home with a white picket fence two dogs and all the works that dreams are made of (eyes rolling again).
Pregnancy came after all the sleepless nights (wink wink) and that was when the nightmare began, he said he didnt want kids / was not ready for kids and started raising hell.

Anyway- cut the long story short, after 2 years of deprivation and torture, i.e sexual , financial, mental, emotional etc, the young lady in question decided to call it quits she jumped ship and went back home to her parents to preserve what was left of her sanity.

Our not so dashing young man appeared unfazed as he did not make any attempts at making peace with his wife. Apparently she had saved him the hassle.

Fast forward to three years after, our not so dashing man is begging, grovelling crawling on all fours and asking our friend to come back HOME !!!!!

Miss thingy is confused she is not yet remarried and coupled with the fact he fathered her child.

Her quandry now is to return or not to return?

2011 = A blast and it hasnt even ended

2011-10-21T14:48:00.000-07:00

it has been a swell year

talk about a roller coaster of a ride
would have blogged all that has happened
but that would come out as showing off and i just loathe to show off
especially since i got everything and more i asked for in the past one year
and this is me being humble heeeeheeee

oh crikey just spotted a roach in my boudoir i am off to crushify it

later foiks

2010 THE LAST QUARTER

2010-12-21T12:52:00.000-08:00

Yes so 2010 has come and gone and guess what People every thing happened precisely in the last quarter

In between all the mayhem

I got a job the type dreams are made of ......very strong career path

Met a sophisticated man who proposed in the space of three months ..........

ALL IN ALL A GREAT YEAR

CHRISTIAN MOTHER ARMS

2010-09-16T10:37:00.000-07:00

My sight has just been abused, assaulted, taken undue advantage of because
I don't have the power to discriminate against what I see.
Rather I see first and can subsequently decide whether to look away
or remain my eyes on what ever object has caught my fancy.

The grudge I bear today is against the flabby upper arms, the saggy/sagging ones,
the bingo wings, equally referred to as Christian mother arms, those arms that neither the designers at
Gucci nor prada visualise when putting pencil to paper.

I am sure you can tell that I am truly miffed. Alas I am.
Forgive me if you have been blessed (saddled) with a pair or a unit of the much dreaded bingo wings(due to one accident or another) but my only words of comfort are please darling put them away. NOW!!!!
Really there is no justification for exposing them.

There I was minding my own business when this apparition became a reality before me.
Massive arms spewing forth from the tiniest fluorescent orange tank top i have seen in ages.

I grabbed my phone and called the fashion police but they were not forth coming.
What could I do save grin and bear it for the next minute that lasted longer than an eternity. Finally I was saved. They moved out of my line of sight. But my anterior cingualate had been damaged for life.
Even as I write they loom on my screen threatening to suffocate/squeeze the last breathe out of me.
I am tempted to stop writing but I MISSPUMPING will not go down without a fight.

I know the mantra these days is big is beautiful, my personal opinion is that this mantra does not extend to this part of the body. In fact I am boldly stating categorically here, that it is the bosoms and derriere that come to mind of the believers of the mantra.

A famous fashionista said in an interview that any woman over thirty five need not expose her upper arms (of course except she is Michelle Obama) as the chances are by this age they have started to wilt or become ridden with stretch marks and/or cellulite (no amount of diligent application of bio-oil will deliver them of the ravages of life)or one is a model in which case there is no other option .

I disagree with this fashionista and my position on the matter is that once you reach certain age and or weight. (One tends to know when one gets to such a stage) please keep the upper arms away. In the future you will be glad you did.

I personally am only interested in what is in your brain, sometimes your pocket. However without any shadow of doubt, your handbag and or shoes are sure to make an indelible impression.

MY INHERITANCE - MY GENES

2010-06-08T02:51:00.000-07:00

MY INHERITANCE - MY GENES
My mother is fair skinned.
I mean like proper fair skin, the kind of fair skin that
in pictures she is the first face you see. She had (in those days)bosoms that made grown men wish they were babies again. Her hips at least from what remains of them were designed for child bearing. And guess what, my three sisters took all these and left none for me. I am dark skinned and do not have much going for me in the breast side of things.

I am the fourth child in a little battalion of six.
In those days six was not considered a battalion.
At least on our block our neighbours had ten and nine kids respectively.

Being a middle child I did not have much going for me- THE NOTHING SPECIAL CHILD, just another child.
Therefore I assigned my self the grand title of daddy’s little girl.
If anything at all I was the youngest of the girls (Great Title).

Anyway the story is that when they (my parents) got to me the best genes had gone.
Trust me my older sisters are glorious to look at.
I am not saying that I am the Ugly duckling far from it.
I am just the not so pretty duckling .And yes I can say it because the truth will always
set you free (hahaha)
Bottom line is that I just that I don’t have anything in common with my (mum)parents.

Lots of times I wonder how different a child can be from the mother like I am.

Alas! of all of a sudden three decades down the line I can see the recessive genes popping up. I can’t believe it I inherited some genes from my mother. The genes she loves to hate the most.
I am developing moles around my eyes aaarhgh!!!
So much for wanting to be like mummy.
Be careful what you wish for you just might get it.

PS: This not to say I don’t love my my mum. I LOVE HER TO PIECES MOLES AND ALL. Even if I say so myself

Per Asa -"E bami kiira fun mama mi. Orisa bi iya kosi laaiye"
meaning. Help me sing praises for my mother, There is no deity like a mother any where on earth

MY SHOES/ THEIR GIRLFRIENDS

2010-04-15T03:32:00.000-07:00

Today it just crossed my mind that my love/lust for shoes cannot be something out of the ordinary. Can it I ask myself for the umpteenth time .It cant (see i am already trying to justify it.)

Can it be normal for a person to lie awake at night and think of the last pair of sexy shoes that have now caught my fancy. (Yes in the current climate/circumstances seeing that i dont have a man hahaha!)

In a lot of ways I dont think it is rational but I guess it is my heart telling me that it has eyes and it can see.

I have tried to rationalise it in so many times. if I see a pair that I desire, until I get it there is no rest for me. I make phonecalls to say hi but I know I just want to tell my friends about how sexy these heels are, how they are to die for,how comfortable they look, (never judge a pair of shoes by its look) ,how if I get this pair I will never want another pair . How this is the shoe of all shoes. How I have decided to take care of this pair and not let anything come between us ever again . Not even my one and only pair of (prized)Guccis. (Yes be jealous I have a pair). Or the Louboutins I shall buy when I hammer.

And I have come to this analogy/conclusion shoes to girls are like women to guys.They (men)lie awake at night thinking about the latest girl that has caught their fancy.They tell their friends of how sexy she is.How if she agrees to date them they will never want another woman again. how she is the woman of all women.How she is just perfect looks and all (never judge a woman by her looks ) How nothing will ever come between them and this woman, in this life or in the next . How they will take care of her for the rest of their lives. How they will ake sure that she is well taken care of .

Alas it is spring and a new wake of styles/designs of shoes are in. I start to lust even from office desk. I stay away from the shops I dont want to be tempted but they are there in my face , calling, beckoning for my attention what shall i do.

I shall adopt the man method I will only look I will not touch that way nothing will happen .....indeed

Farting and straight faces -Fart him to death

2010-03-22T06:35:00.000-07:00

They say that farting without an iota of shame in front of others is a sign that u are comfortable in their presence. If that is what it really means please don’t be comfortable in my presence because I can’t be comfortable in your presence.

My father God bless him was one to enjoy a good fart and laugh at himself. I guess he was comfortable not only in front of us his kids but in the presence of others much to our chagrin.
My mother on the other hand is quite prim and I don’t recall her farting with reckless abandon .Never.

Don’t get me wrong either I am one to enjoy a got fart … I mean I let it rip when I let go I let go. But being the “classy lady” that I am it has to be strictly in the company of me, myself and I. Comprendi (understand) I repeat in the presence of only me myself and I .

I crack jokes all the time about people farting and the effect it had and all that. And I never act like a person who doesn’t fart. I mean people that come across as non-farters are often classified as uptight, superficial, pretentious, fake bla bla bla….(The list is endless).

However once in a while there are mishaps. For instance you are laughing and it slips out, not much can do or you think u have it under control and it decides to pop/burst out not much u can do there either.

The dignified approach in these situations according to “Debretts On Etiquette” (see how posh I am I know Debretts) is to apologise and asked to be excused.

But my quandary now is my manager who sits nearby in our open plan office appears to be on a mission, I personally think he wants to fart me to death or something close to that because since morning, all he has done is fart, fart and fart.But alas it is the silent scud missiles that are on offer today and I am certain it is him.
Unfortunately Debretts did not offer any advice on how to handle these situations and I am therefore at a loss as to how to tackle this.

Worse still is that every time he lets go, he starts making those make believe calls.
Conference pears give me gas that escapes from the rear orifice I therefore stay away from them. Beans have they same effect but with the added advantage of skunk fragrance. Are you thinking what I am thinking please say yes? Lunch hour is nigh and I am having conference pears to perk up my energy levels.
Tonight it shall beans spiced with garlic and then tomorrow may the best man win……

MY CRUSH -JIBOLA B.

2010-03-17T06:29:00.000-07:00

Even to the meals he had for school lunch, I rememeber every single detail. Salads ; talk about Posh Nosh. he was the cutest boy in my world.

He was the headboy, he could play the recorder excellently,he was on the shool relay team. he was in kingfisher house. he had the best handwriting in class (at least that was what the teacher said all the time) . He came 1st position For two consecutive terms ,yes i rememeber .He had a nice smile as a result of having the best teeth in the world and at christmas time he was part of the christmas concert performance. He used to pull his socks up to his knees how very dapper fashion icon hahahaha OH Jibola!. I CAN EVEN REMEMBER HIS SPIDERMAN LUNCHBOX.

Yesterday I saw him again at Brent Cross shopping Centre my fav hangout after work these days .And after twenty odd years and I was instantly transported to Corona primary school .Boy did I crush all over again .

He has turned out better than I could have imagined , gorgeous as ever (married ofcourse).
And guess what peeps he recognised me called me by my full names i.e firstname and last name.
The trip is because i have changed quite a bit but he recognised me . I melted could not even behave myself I was grinning like a goat (whatever this means)thank heavens I have blossomed into a rose and was looking fly.

Pointless gist but I just thought I should share and in case he sees this there I said it. I got it off my chest at last omo u too sexy i dey loose control oooo

I MIGHT BE PREGNANT -NO PENETRATION OCCURED

2010-03-12T01:25:00.000-08:00

How do you explain to people that you did not actually do the do but you are pregnant in this millineum. If you were me trust me I would not believe you.

I am not a spring chicken (and by that, to the less literate of us i mean i am not a young girl). I am in my early thirties.What an age to be . By the way i have not had a boyfriend in two years. And yes i have not done the do in all that time as well.

But recently I met up with an ex and we NO,we did not do the main do , we fooled around quite a bit,( i was checking if i could light that fire and i did) . He exploded on me we were not fully robed. OK I confess we were butt naked.

Now period is due it aint here.
been feeling pretty sleepy
done test came out negative
but period still aint here.

If I am preg and it is a girl I shall call her Immaculata, if it is a boy Immaculate he shall bear.

DRY BANGING

2009-11-13T02:56:00.000-08:00

Ladies have you ever been dry banged?

And I mean dry banged without your consent. In short raped with your clothes on .Taken undue advantage because you are female and you were blessed with lovely lady lumps (God Bless Fergie of the Black Eye Peas Fame).

Well I have and to God it was neither pretty nor was it enjoyable.

You may recall that in the not too distant past I regalled you with tales of my bosoms (or lack of it) but what I failed to mention is that mother nature took care of me in the posterior region amply and satisfactorily. Jennifer Lopez is a small pikin (child) when i am talking. Ass men cant think straight when I am in my full glory.....

Damn this babe got back!!!!. and some more.

Sometimes I wear jeans look at my booty in the mirror and I just want to rip the jeans of myself and do to myself what any red blooded ass man would want to do me ....okay i digress.

On this faithful day I had joined the queue to get into one venue for one event or the other(for the life of me, I cant remember what it was for otherwise I would have warned dry bang virgins....)

Every thing had been smooth sailing and I could literally see myself getting into the venue. My ticket clutched tight, mobile phone and wallet in a zipped up hand bag .IN SHORT EVERYTHING WORTHY OF PROTECTION, PROTECTED.Or at least so I thought.

All of a sudden I feel an all too familiar hardness against me. Immediately, the receptors for feeling in my brain embrace this feeling that they know only too readily results in a heady feeling.

But my skin/body receptors question it, because they are no longer familiar with such turgidity (yes it has been that long) and they question further and further until they object vehemently to that ideally enjoyable sensation.

Within a minute however the brain receptors and skin receptors reached a "consusus ad idem" i.e an agreement (u can see I like big words I am a lawyer)that this is an unwelcome and an intruding stranger. A foreign body that must be challenged/stopped at once.

I spun around i.e did a 180 degree turn only to see a man (pervert in the women's only queue....) riding waves of orgiastic pleasure, zipper undone grinding against what was the previous postion of me "derriere" (french for bum) eyes half closed and hand in support of his "man thing".

And there he was dry banging moi imagine.

Immediately I did what i was taught in my psychology classes and chastised him as opposed to screaming and guess what happened he went limp.......as limp as a wet noodle.And I laughed.

Of course I did not attend the concert I had to go home and scrub his evil seeds off me.

What would you rather I did in the circumstances? Or better still what would you have done in the circumstances?

PASTOR MUYO AND HIS WIFE

2009-10-29T10:10:00.000-07:00

I met Pastor Muyo at Kings Cross/St Psncreas Intl Station in Sept 2007 and boy was he fine (he still is)at the time i was seeing an energy vampire whose only mission and sole pleasure in life was to drain me of whatever enegy or joy I had. He was such an underachiever

We i.e Pastor Muyiwa and I had been in the same carriage many atimes but had only acknowledged each other by a casual glance.
Anyway on the said day we met i saw him hobbling as fast as he could (he must have sprained something since the last time we saw)to catch the train. Icould not pose cos I saw his agony and made first conversation/contact by conveying to him that the train had been cancelled.

He thanked me profusely and that was the beginning of our train romance (nothing sordid I just like the ring it has train romance....)

He would keep a sit for me on the cramped up trains ignoring the hissing , sighing and muttering of immigrants keeping sits for other immigrants (if only they knew that back home we were chaffeur driven and to be reduced to catching trains ....I digress)and I on the other hand would slay 7 dragons swim 7 seas and climb 7 mountains to catch the 6.05 train where Pastor Muyo would regal me with tales about God sent wife
.
I on the other hand would hint about my vampire hoping he would tell me to get rid of the wanker he was to much of a gentleman as he did no such thing.I left this town a year ago Oct 2008 and made no contact with Pastor Muyo and only had with me the memories of our several train alliances.

Fastforward to Oct 09 I met Pastor Muyo on the same train and guess what he had stopped going to church, put on weight and His lovely wife had become a monster. How do these happen?

ON BIG BOSOMS AND THINGS

2009-09-16T02:16:00.002-07:00

Okay whilst I admit that I am not particularly well endowed in the chest region, I can say that
I have a lot of other things going for me, like my IQ which i daresay cannot be purchased as opposed to mammaries that modupe ozolua can provide. (assuming i can afford them). And yes I am special , I was created this way for a reason bla bla bla. This mantra doesnt work well when your ex is dating the bustiest girl in the world though .

But sometime I tend to feel like an underachiever in the chest region. It is not like as if I pray and fast about it but it does tends to cross my mind afterall it is my body.

This happens especially when I go shopping with friends and they dare to say ""..... I would never get away with wearing that I am way too busty (like as if I dont already SEE that) it is for people like you.

(me thinking ......people like who oh! now I am not a normal person any more because I am small in that region)

Sad as it seems I even have a little game I play where I secretly give free membership to ladies that are equally or not so equally endowed as me (forgive the pun) in the chest region. As Iwalk pass them I smile at them and under my breath say hello club member because that is what we are club members.......small bosom club members hahaha.

Ps. if a small chested lady has smiled at you in the mall, street, gym, office and you are that way too, it must have been me.

But just the other day, as I made my way to whereever it was that I was going, (Oh by the way I love fashion) just ahead of me was one sharply dressed lady, from the hair to the bag however she had a limp not so obvious but it was there. She carried it of nicely and trust me i was dying to see her from the front.

She was dead on trend. The accessories everything well cordinated and the bosoms were on display. In line with the saying if you've got them flaunt them. I was truly happy for her she didnt let the limp get in the way of her life.

And then it hit me would I swop my barely theres with her limp.....no
Would she swop her limp for my barely theres ......i dont know and dont realy care to know.

All I know is that at that moment in time I loved mybarely theres

There are more pressing issues than barely theres . And by the way a club member just walked into the room.

THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME

2009-09-11T01:30:00.001-07:00

THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME

These were the words that crossed my my mind when the ex toaster (guy who asked me out) invited me to the christening of his baby boy. OH LAWD it should have been me.

I just thot to myself another one bites the dust why the fuck didnt i just say yes to this BLOKE that would have been our baby christening. oh well cest la vie as they say in "Nice " (I realy want to visit Nice)

So off to the the baby christening all smiles but pining inside.

On getting there i am secretly and mind boggingly happy that the missus has gained a tonne or so in weight (serves her right for saying yes to the man I could have married)

But i still wished that I was the one every was fussing over.

Did all the polite things people do at baby christening and as I bid goodbye to the lovely couple .. ex toaster says he will drop me off at the station and so we head forth.

Alas he has something on his mind eating away, and he wants to talk to the one person the wifey will probabbly never believe in case words get out.

Ex toaster..... i dont know what came over me but in the last couple of months i have been cheating on the missus

Misspumping.....(thinking)Oh no he didnt That could have been me.

Ex toaster.....with her being pregnant and all, her drive being low i just needed to talk to some body and one thing sort of led to another and ...... i met this girl.......

Misspumping .....(still thinking "That could have been me this low life good for nothing could have been cheating on") smiling outward urging him on . I need to hear this, every piece of information is vital. So that i can bury this never was relationship finally..on and on he goes where they went for the weekend, where they had their seedy retreats . Everything and i mean everything,. No gory stone is left unturned . And I listen in pretence sadness

Ex toaster....and do you know the sad part is that i dont feel any remorse , I dont feel married at all I look at the missus and it feels like I am dreaming, I need to change.

Misspumping ...(Still Thinking but this time grateful that that wasnt me )

So despite the grass looking greener in their nice house with the white pickett fence and all i am so grateful that could have been but it is not me .

HAPPILY EVER AFTER NOT

2009-08-12T03:52:00.000-07:00

Hello guys yes i have been missing in action. Not exactly due to any fault of mine, all sorts of things have been going on in my life. Relocating to naija was not easy i settled in but after a while i fled the nest.

There are blokes in naija i met in the span of eight months more guys than i met in london in five years so there is hope. Only down side is that most of them dont tick most of the boxes not expecting them to tick all the boxes but at least most of the boxes will do.Another thing is that they like london girls maybe to show off that see what i got or to collect the small change but that is not happening.

I have been bk in london for some time now. i resigned the boss was literally breathing down my neck and went as far as being rude (on several occasions).

Not after being trained in the ways of the queen am i going to stand for that kind of crap .
NO siree

i am thinking of setting up my thing now . Thinking of going into the arts i have a passion for the arts, so i might open a gallery or even do fashion photography professionally.

Everybody says that i should have stayed in naija i am only passing through want to take some courses but most consultants i have met with say that i should just buy the gadgets and learn on the job

we will see how it goes.

Happy to be back

meanwhile what happened to silent screams blog please come bk.

It has been a long time coming

2009-02-01T11:29:00.000-08:00

Ha my peeps naija no easy ,

I entered naija feeling like a big girl . the first thing i learnt within a few weeks was that the realy big boys and girls live here and not in london. whist london gives you that sense of security and comfort. The reality is that it is all based on a credit (well sort of).

Naija has been a hell of a roller coaster. i have almost finally settled in i have been working for a month now.It is not exactly the kind of job i wanted but at least it is okay i got an official car and my own office the pay is not double what i earned in london but i dont have to pay rent every month so i can save a bit.

i also found out that away experience and away masters is plenty moreso now with all the credit crunch thousands are relocating to naija .so they are not exactly queing up to employ me thank God that i am a professional imagine not being a professional e for bad gan

i am happy i am bk sha but things still need to pick up.eyin peeps pls pray for me.

As per boyfie i went on a fact finding mission only to find out that he is from a not so so tapping family. his mum is a darling but the rest are just something else when God answers your prayers u just dont get it until it smacks you right in the face. he was bad news anyway he never realy cared but u lot know how it can be.

now that i am on form i will definitelydo my bit

The game story

2008-09-03T02:57:00.001-07:00

Dont hate the player hate the game?

what is it about me that just stirs up competition?

I fart someone wants to fart better/louder

I cough someone want to show they can cough better/louder

I fall down someone lays claim to falling all the time

This life is for living o it is not a competition i know it is good to strive to
be better in all u do BUT

I just dont get it

Can your mother do you “I mean jazz u” the story

2008-08-11T05:45:00.000-07:00

First and foremost I come from the school of thought that does not believe anybody can do me .i.e. I mean jazz me. Apart from the fact that I say my prayers as regularly as I can I don’t go around with a chip on my shoulder waiting for an accident / misfortune to happen or befall me so that I can say that one person somewhere is doing me.No way whatever happens to me, was meant to happen . rain that will beat me (or not beat) cannot miss me .

Well how is that some times when u hear some peoples story you wonder and even thank your maker that your mum is your mum. At this point a special shout out to daisy my mum.

Today’s gist is about one of my “new friends” that has been diagnosed with a very advanced gynaecological problem that threatens to prevent her from mothering a child God Forbid but the tests have shown that not only is the womb distorted there are certain growths which outsizes the womb. We have been told it is 50-50 that motherhood will take place. We pray that she falls into the positive 50% ratio. Amen thanks for your prayers

But the sad part is that my friends mum was aware of this matter four years ago. At that time, the lady in question was still under the wings of her mum doctors suggested surgery then but the mother said no we reject it in the name of Jesus. Our God will make it go away unfortunately it didn’t and now it is motherhood threatening.

My quandary now is that today girlfriend is all grown up and it has reared its ugly head again and guess what mummy tells my friend don’t tell anybody, don’t tell your daddy yet. I will raise the money for the operation meanwhile daddy of friend in question is a multi millionaire .If not that i don’t believe that someone can do somebody, I would have started to think that this girls mother wants to do her

Abi eyin peeps wetin you think ?

Let awoof not run my bele o the story

2008-08-01T08:21:00.000-07:00

As I have bored you more often than not with this my travails in London, I shall delight you with another true life tale.

I got nice place to which I was supposed to move into today the 1st of August but being an awoofist, I am not moving. You might ask why well it is kind of complicated (money matter). We i.e. I and my benefactors have cometo the conclusion that I should save small cash even if na petrol I go use am for.

Remember I wrote in a previous post that I was going back to naija well the time of reckoning is fast approaching as a matter of fact, I have only two months left in this town I agreed to sign up for a six months lease, my friends the senior girl/born again sister told me that it was not particularly a prudent move. And as an awoofist I agreed
They say that I can stay for an extra two months .see how one week turned into one month and now one month has turned into three months.

I am truly grateful the down side is that within these two days of cancellation and payment of administrative fees to estate agents bla bla bla, yours sincerely has become a shoepaholic .And then when I am going home from the spree, I fear to carry the shoes home let it not cause animosity, this London can fit to be funny.

Let my bearers of good tidings not start to calculate that we are paying rent and she is buying shoes. To counteract this thought, I have resorted to stocking the house with food and all things nice. LET US JOINTLY PRAY THAT THIS SUFFICES.

My peeps what do u think am I pushing my luck or just enjoy it whilst it last and pray for the best

Another problem Another story Another day

2008-07-18T02:33:00.000-07:00

My peeps there are problem o.

Nothing new about that I guess but this time water has passed gari.

Routine visit to the GP and guess what, she comes out and says to me…..
I have very bad news.

I “shoulda” seen it coming .Anyway part of it is work related
and the rest is man related.
The work part is that at the office we are on some stupid project that
I just can’t hack and to compound issues my manager is breathing down my neck.
Talk about undermining a person in front of your underlings no end. To the point that I just broke down (and sobbed not in front of colleagues heaven forbid I remain a big girl in their presence.)

The man part is that since me and boyfie kind of got back together he has been posting me about our future .It is driving me up the wall says we will get to it but question is when ? told boyfie of my predicament guess what he said, I have always told u to stop stressing yourself . Everything I do is for us yeah! Right! Talk about posting me. I don’t think he realises I am a bit long in the tooth

They say that they have High Blood Pressure

Still pretty much squatting -the story

2008-07-14T05:12:00.000-07:00

Na so life be o when I was undergoing the whole yawa of not having house that is how I used to run to come and tell u the whole story. I have roof now I have been missing in action (forgive me).

Anyway as the house search progressed albeit very slowly, I found a beautiful house which I have to wait till the end of the month till I can move in. In the interim, I met a friend on her way back from church that same Sunday boyfie left for his village i.e. outside London

She said that they had preached hospitality in church and that it was God that made her see me. So off to her place we went it was fabulous. This friend I am talking about in my life if they say that she would do this favour for me I would have said impossible.
To think that when we were in uni and she became a BIG girl I was one of the people that used to judge her. She has given her life to GOD now.

So I was there till this weekend the week flew past very quickly.
Boyfie came to see me there at the weekend I was glad to be associated with him if you the baffs boyfie knacked my friends were drooling I proceeded to get him out of there fast, (we live in interesting times you SEE).

And that is how I have been.

This “lundon sef”

The weekend story

2008-07-07T01:37:00.001-07:00

Okay so oga showed up on Friday I was expecting some cock and bull story about any thing and every thing no money, no fuel, no water, no nepa u just name it, I was prepared for it.
But Lo and behold, I was pleasantly surprised. He booked me (well us) into a fabulous hotel at the west end of town.

We met up after I closed from work and he me whisked off to a restaurant to eat and then we went off to the hotel. At the hotel we watched TV (hahaha) till dawn and temporarily forgot all the problems I was currently undergoing.

For once in the past couple of days I actually had the luxury of waking up closer to mid-day than dawn. We then went house haunting and of course being a weekend, we didn’t make much progress.

Boyfie subsequently went to see some relative who was in town whilst I went to see a friend who has offered for me to move in whilst I sort myself out but who I have turned down for a plethora of reasons. Anyway boyfie dropped me off at hers and then off we went to cinema. Watched a fabulous movie it was absolutely brilliant.

Boyfie came back to pick me we went back to hotel full of dread he leaves for his place tomorrow. While once again after the 12 o, clock check out time I become homeless once again. That thought however did not prevent us from watching TV that night sha.

Story of the homeless

2008-07-04T02:30:00.001-07:00

Since this is my blog I guess it is okay to say whatever I want to say and not worry because really nobody knows me. This is really embarrassing but I just need to vent

It just goes to show that in this “londun” (spelt like that cos I realy hate this place more than ever right now) it is everyman for himself.

It is at times like this that I realise how strong I am and that I am not easily broken .as I write you this post from my office desk, I do not know where I am going to sleep tonight and whilst this may be crazy, all I can say is that I thank God that it is summer.

Weird it may seem but it the truth of the matter, my landlord is on the verge of loosing his house consequently the lack of roof over thy head.

In this my sojourn in London I have seen many athings but this tops them. Imagine getting back from work and all your prized possession shipped off to storage and you have to go to work the next day after sorting out some paper work the following day, I went to work cos the shock was to grave. Infact I chose to be in denial .My flatmate was whisked away to her boyfriends place and I had no choice than to call boyfie (remember him) anyway not much he could do really cos he lives in Luffenham but at least it felt good talking to somebody.

Day 1
After talking with boyfie and being consoled which was really of no use. I spoke to an old friend who happened to be in the Marriott so to the Marriott we went it was bliss unbelievable totally out of this world. So I ate took a shower and attempted to sleep until old friend started coming on to me like really coming on to me put up a big fight and finally was allowed a few hours of sleep till dawn and started getting stressed again .had to leave extra early for work but believe me in a strange sort of way I was grateful at least to have found a place to lay my head on the first night of being homeless. I did not allow the punk to have his wicked way with me.

Day 2
After work, went to the storage place to check on my stuff try to pick up a few items for my sanitation. Then started trying to get a place it can be madness, anyway did not get a place contemplate getting a B&B but change mind. I don’t really think I want to descend lower than Marriott. I can be crazy like that .So rack through brain cells to see what is happening and eureka uncle of friend works night so I can chill there till morning innit so I call friend who calls friend who calls friend and then they say that they are few minutes from home . so I head there only to have to wait outside for 3-4 hours in the summer chill .They arrive with chicks in hand not bad (as a matter of fact good for me ). Curl into 2 seat sofa and endure state of heightened discomfort in semi conscious state till morning(in other words tried to sleep).

Day 3
In the office right now drafting post and suffering severe back ache
Boyfie might show up to help but I very much doubt assistance in any form he can be pretty useless sometimes.

Will let you know what happens over the weekend
PS this is real life. I am not having a laugh.

is this story possible

2008-06-24T08:37:00.000-07:00

is it possible that some people wake and pray that God should give them the strenght, power , initiative to dress in the most ridiculous manner concievable to them.

Because i justy dont get it. Please forgive me i dont mean to be funny but i see some people and wonder how exactly do they think. i realise that we are all different we cant realy be that different.

i realise that some people have more money and resources .i am not bloody rich or anything like that but pleease comeon guys
what do u think WE should do about this

Story of the office colleague(s)

2008-05-30T01:43:00.000-07:00

It has been ages since I last posted a blog lord have I missed venting.

Anyway as I was writing about that colleague the other day, I made the move for reconciliation and she wasn’t game, I was a bit upset cos really I wanted to bury the hatchet. But I felt instant release as in I felt so light afterwards what I did not realise was that as a result of her actions , I was also carrying unnecessary luggage with me and now that I have unloaded them I feel so light, no dead weight, and I have moved on.
I leave her to continue to carry the hate and animosity with her in her.

I just don’t get it some times now I am beginning to think that there might be something wrong somewhere with me honestly I do not get it o. My colleagues in the office are really beefing me. Chris Rock says don’t hate the player, hate the game. I know that I am their superior in the office (not their boss) and really what I say in the dept is law but must they palyer hate.

The thing now is that why is it that when I come to work I greet all that I meet in the room but when others come into the office they don’t greet anybody. Then on the day that I decide not to greet any body, every body stops talking to me. They act like as if I have committed the greatest evil on earth. I just don’t get it. Silly as it seems that is what is happening or am I really loosing it pls help

THEY TAGGED ME - MY STORY

2008-05-15T05:18:00.000-07:00

SIX THINGS ABOUT ME

I LOVE MY JUNIOR BROTHER MORE THAN ANYBODY ELSE IN THE WORLD. INCLUDING MY MOTHER AND SHE KNOWS IT (ALLTHE EX'S SAW HIM AS A THREAT).

I APPEAR FIERCELY INDEPENDENT BUT INSIDE I AM A BIG SOFTIE.

I WAS THE PROVERBIAL LATE BLOOMER , NOW I SECRETLY DERIVE JOY WHEN PPLE SEE ME NOW AND EXCLAIM OH! YOU HAVE CHANGED SO MUCH

I DONT KNOW HOW MANY SHOES I OWN.. WHEN I WAS YOUNGER MY MUM DIDNT SEE THE NEED FOR US TO HAVE MORE THAN TWO PAIRS EACH ONE FOR SCHOOL AND ONE FOR OUTINGS. NOW I BUY THE SAME SHOES IN DIFFERENT COLOURS JUST TO MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME .

I ALWAYS FALL FOR THE WRONGEST GUYS FOR THE WRONGEST REASONS

I AM A LUCKY PERSON (EXCEPT IN THE MAN DEPT) AND I KNOW IT .

oh by the way dont know who to tag i think i am the last person getting tagged i finally feel among now hahaha

Workplace Bitching The story

2008-05-13T02:43:00.001-07:00

I am not one to talk about the work place outside the work place.
But I need to air something that has weighed me down in the office for some time now.

It is the issue of one stupid woman in my office who I have decided to try to get along with for the sake of my own sanity.

She used to work in the company a long time ago. She however left the company for some reasons and is now back. Good for her.

However the problem is that upon her return, obviously things had changed and she found it a bit unsettling. She is from this side of town and therefore could not quite stomach the fact she has to report to younger African (me) and before I know it there is tension in the air.
I had a word with my boss about it and he said that he is sure that I will be able to deal with but alas I could not deal with it very well. She has a very strong personality to counter act her venom, I formed an alliance with another lady in the office and we made the working environment rather uncomfortable for her to the extent that she actually had a verbal warfare with my ally. They were seriously reprimanded.

The thing is that I have just realised what is all this rubbish about. I see part of myself in her and she is trying to do is to mark territory for what? I ask myself. I realise that this is not my father’s office and even if it was it is not by bitching that you make progress. I will make peace with her. I know she feels very threatened by me and what I am doing by responding negatively is allowing her take charge of the situation and control my actions. So today, I will take the road less travelled and build a bridge and not a fence.

I am sure that she will shocked. Lets se how it goes …..i will keep you posted

The going back Story

2008-05-13T02:02:00.000-07:00

As the day for going back home draws nearer i get more excited mixed feelings but the thing is that I DEY GO !!!!

As far as i am concerned it is a done deal; every body has one sad story or the other to tell but iroyin ko to afojuba (seeing is believing). It is true that there is no light and there is no water and the roads are bad and the weather is hot and that...... but i miss naija , i miss my house, i miss my mum coming to annoy me early in the morning by asking me what i want them to make for me knowing fully well that i realy dont eat in the mornings. I miss the constant effizi hahahaha. I miss not having to work twice as hard to prove my worth cos in naija we are all the same colour. I miss my junior brother who knows almost all my darkest secrets, He is serving in Abia state at the moment YUCK! forgive me Abia state indigenes but my brother is an ajebutter hahaha any way .

I have been stocking the kitty for some time now at least to cushion the landing upon getting back. Lord knows that it was not easy especially when the boyfie was a constant drain on the pocket please dont laugh , i dont know whether na love or na just stupidity i want to believe that it is the latter.Things are better now than they were before. Do i sound sad . i guess it is just one of those days. And I pray that I get a good job ASAP otherwise you all might witness my return next year Although God Forbid the return to this rat race.

Go I Must

My story on Relocating to Naija

2008-05-01T01:16:00.000-07:00

Not much has been happening in my life but a lot has been going on in my head.

Sometimes I say to myself that all this wahala somebody is even going through self is not worth. one can drop down and die the next minute i say to myself what if one does not die soon , one does not want to go hungry.

But the koko is that we shall continue to hustle. very soon it will be four years since i left naija . i cant say that i have done badly but i cant say that it has been excellent either . i have a good job THAT IS NOT GOING TO TURN ME INTO A MILLIONAREss HERE HENCE I long for naija like really badly.

So what i shall do is is throw in the towel an prepare for the journey back home . I have managed to tell the boss that i shall be relocating to naija pretty soon like 5 months time for some time but the plan is to go and sort myself out . I take that as more than ample time to get a replacement that can be trained by my goodself. I pray to the lord that nothing will make me regret the move.

A girl has once again got to do what a girl has got to do.

DONE IN

2008-04-16T07:07:00.000-07:00

Now i get it.
it is not easy doing this blogging thing o.
Now, i promise not to get upset whenever i check to see if a blogger has updated andhe/she hasn't.

Sometimes you just dont feel like telling the world your issues and sometimes when you even feel like sharing you dont feel like typing . and sometimes when you feel like typing you just dont know the best way to come across . and sometimes when you even decide that you want to come across in aparticular way you dont really want to put it All down . and when you even start putting tHe part you dont mind divulging , your thots start to run around in circles. aM I doing your head in yet, EXACTLY THATS THE WAY I AM FEELING RIGHT NOW. DONE IN .

She was very angry

2008-04-08T03:23:00.001-07:00

She arrived on Saturday morning in all her glory.
I have never experienced such anger and I was really humbled.
She told me never to take her presence for granted but rather celebrate her arrival by giving praise to my lord. I DID
It was on Saturday that I realised that I must respect this temple and never abuse it.
The things I have put in the temple defiled it and it was angered therefore the delay in her release.

My period came.

This story is getting scarier

2008-04-04T06:24:00.001-07:00

My peeps there is problem o. I swear to my Creator and I am not joking, my period is more than late and I have not seen the head or tail light of the damn thing. I have done more than 10 pregnancy tests by now and they all say negative. Even the clear blue that I used is the digital one and the darn thing said Not Pregnant as in it literally spelt the thing out.It is no longer funny o have taken a few days next week of work to see the gp and things. Eyin peeps I know that I sinned but I thought I had ended that chapter now it is raising its head again.Now I am scared like shit cos I had already announced to the whole world that that thing with boyfie was over, what does one do in such situation? Does this mean that we should gat back together or whatI really want a baby but in the gaddem right circumstances. If I am preggers eventually I will keep it but I sincerely hope that I am not.A truly and sincerely worried misspumping

PRRRRRAAAAAISSSSSE THEEE LOOOOOORD

2008-03-17T03:10:00.001-07:00

An End to that story

Okay so my people. I am not preggers thank heavens for that.
It is amazing what your mind can be doing to your head. I broke up with him yesterday and guess what I did not even buy the clipper. It was not easy can you imagine I was the one crying and saying that I could not settle for less than I deserved. Ironically my little brother also broke up with his girlfriend too. I am not even sure what I am going to be doing with all the spare time that I am going to now have.

I guess I will just enrol on some professional courses I can afford them now that my money belongs to me , myself and I and I have the time to study too. It will be hard but I know that I will make.

That is 18 months down the drain. I said to him better now than later with kids in the picture, I am very sad and I feel like crying some more and I guess I will. But a girl has just done what a girl had to do.

Story Story……. Story Water don pass gari o

2008-03-14T08:07:00.000-07:00

E be like say Misspumping don carry bele o
This must be the most unbelievable thing that I am going to post but for real e be like say I don carry bele.

Right now I am so confused I have not done a test yet but I am scared as hell, can you believe this but my boobs are tender like anything and I all of a sudden require a nap during my lunch hour. My period is not late yet. I am not even sure cos I don really calculate the date cos I am quite smart when it comes to this type of thing But I get the feeling that I am not myself. I have been feeling like this for about 1week now but I paid no heed .And yes we did it when he got back from naija I did not want it to look like I had been busy when he was away . I m still going to break up with boyfie this weekend on his birthday. I have not yet done it cos I don’t want to be like a cheap skate. I am going to get him the most unromantic gift a shaving set i.e. clipper.

Back to the focus of this post just what which is me and not boyfie what if my body is acting up as a result of stress or WHAT IF I DON CARRY BELE what shall I do? This is the lowest point of my life right now. This weekend is the determinant. I have to wait till tomorrow morning and use the first sample I have been advised. If I am then it will be like one week. Am I being unduly imaginative can you be one week gone and know or it is not possible. Experience peeps and inexperienced peeps just what if what shall I do cos I know I aint feeling him any more.

Same old naija story

2008-03-13T07:53:00.000-07:00

People come and see me see trouble o. just when you think that everything will be okay. Something else will come and cause you head ache.

This morning about 10:45 and 11:00 my manager called me into the meeting room for a chat I thought it was as a result of being overlooked in regards to my job role (see previous post -When sweet is no longer sweet...). So excited by the prospect of some sort of explanation or redress, I did my power walk. The one you use when you feel that everything is going your way (finally).

Upon getting into the meetingroom he sat very far away from me the kind of distance that lets you know that this is not going to be a walk in the park. The chat went as follows

Manager: I received a phone call from David Mark yesterday evening (David Mark is the senate president in Nigeria) he asked me to send him certain details which I did not send .I was just wondering if you know anything about it .

Me: I don’t understand.

Manager: I did not think you would but I just thought that since you are Nigerian you might be able to understand. I can’t think of where he got my telephone number from. If he had approached me via email I would have been less shocked but this is quite close to home so I was just thought I should tell you.

Me: I hope you did not give him your details he a con artist and it is sad that he called you and said all the things he said to you. There is really no justification for it but most of these conmen are the result of high unemployment in the country and bla bla bla. I did the patriotic thing and gave him the speech about the politicalclimate in niaja.

I think I handled it well at the time but now that I am at my desk I am wondering whether maybe they thought I was part of the scam(meanwhile I think that I the only naija girl in the office if there is another one I am yet to meet her .

I am like should I stir the hornest's nest or should I just let sleeping dogs lie

Breaking Up …How does the story go?

2008-03-10T09:54:00.000-07:00

Okay so boyfie is back.
He got back yesterday 09/03/2008 at about 7 in the morning and we did not see till about 3 or 4pm. He had to go and pick his car up from where it was parked and all that. And I can say that I missed him when I saw him I just wanted to hug him but I did no such thing. I maintained a dignified composure. My resolve is strong .I am ending it. It is the only way forward.

I was very civil and I realised that I should let him rest a bit before I spring the inevitable him. We can both see the end is nigh. He was really surprised and said that he thought I was going to tell him straightaway that it was over immediately I laid eyes on him. In other words he alsosenses it.And that he is so happy that I did not decide to break up with him he realises that he has behaved like a total jerk. I was in shock .I am beyond words my post is how one break does up. Funny thing is that I have never broken up with anybody. It just dies a natural death. This one is different. When is a good time? And exactly what do you say. PLEASE HELP ME

The Saga and story continues

2008-03-03T02:17:00.000-08:00

Plenty long tings (don jazzy)

If I tell you that boyfie has not come back will you believe it? Well let me tell you boyfie has not come back. Why you may ask. I’ll rather not disclose part of it here but in fact. Unless I am stupid and refuse to see the signs this is obviously a no goer. Boyfie has refused to come back because his daddy has refused to give him MONEY. Have you ever imagined or heard of anything so ridiculous in your life.

A bit of background information will suffice at this juncture. If you remember from my previous post boyfie comes from a rather well off family and they are supposed to have plenty cash , Anyways boyfie is like daddy’s love spoilt rotten but very subject to the moods of his daddy . As in if he upsets daddy, daddy will threaten to cut him off. So boyfie decided to move abroad so that he could stand on his own feet. Well daddy was not quite pleased about it and all that jazz but boyfie stuck to his guns and moved. Boyfie has a good and steady job with government and all that but you know how it is over here. There is never plenty extra left over after your bills/direct debits.

Upon getting to naij and bursting enough effizi in the first couple of weeks the wells of finance kinda dried up. The plan was to stay for a few weeks but he decided to stay on for his cousins wedding and bla bla bla.

After speaking with him yesterday boyfie hinted that maybe I should send some cash over but I beat him to it and said that if your own family cannot raise when you are broke on holidays after buying the whole of London on OUR MONEY then I don think I should be giving you any money so please don’t even think it. See me see wahala o. Boyfie then started raking that me I am selfish and this is a strong indication of what the future can be like .If at this level of love in Tokyo me I cannot raise him when he is stranded for cash. I could not believe it. First and foremost for his trip I put down half of the money involved. I did not send anything to my family through him cos I just could not afford too I sent stuff to his siblings that I have never met and weeks after none of them has called to say THANKS. And he still has not gone to see my people isn’t that the funniest joke of the year one of the major reasons for the trip.

He just wants to use reverse psychology but guess what I am not sending a penny to him. He is too spoilt and I aint putting up with it any more. Every month a portion of my salary goes to him. Well guess what 2008 is MY year. IF the truth be told I earn more than him but that does not make him my responsibility. I am not his mother, I am his partner and if he has not seen my people by now which is the reason why he travelled in the first place them I must be the most foolish and desperate girl in the world to send any thing to him. .

Is this the height of irresponsibility or what?

Morale from a story

2008-02-28T03:30:00.000-08:00

He who talks to you of others will talk to others of you.

When sweet is not sweet anymore… the story

2008-02-25T07:26:00.001-08:00

So I come to work bright eyed and bushy tailed this beautiful morning or so I thought. Eager to take them on.
So we start work in ernest until boss says that there are a few announcements to be made. One of the senior managers is leaving our department. And it is mixed feelings all the way on one hand I don’t want her to leave cos we are close and all that jazz but then on the other hand her sit ideally would be mine.

Trust me I have been eyeing that chair for some time now not necessary more money but then more responsibilities and more exposure. Guess what they announce who will be taking her post. Some girl that has not been here that long is really lazy and to be honest does not even begin to have half of my qualifications. I literally broke down, like broke down I am still in shock as I post this blog. Right. I am so tempted to start sending out CV’s right now and see how they cope without me in the next few months. I am so mad I want to scream. I had to take a walk. I went to the bathroom and cried for what seemed like eternity freshened up and came back to the office all smiles. I don’t even have the vaguest clue what is happening in this place anymore. I am beginning to see that hard work does not pay cos where the heck did that come from.

I sit in despair as they commence the handing over process and I cant even concentrate I just want to go home right now. Even the sweets from the vending machine don’t taste so sweet any more .

On Dying –what is your story?

2008-02-22T03:05:00.000-08:00

I get really worked up when somebody dies whether I know the person or I don’t. It is just the way I am.

Quite recently my colleagues mum died of breast cancer. I never met the woman before but she talked about her all the time. In a strange way she (my friend knew the end was near but chose denial) and so she talked about her all the time. By the way her mum was back in her country (Last King Of Scotland Location).Hence all information regarding her mum’s health was over the phone.

I remember the day she was told her mum had been rushed to the hospital. I said I think you should be planning a trip home like ASAP. She replied that her dad said she should not come home yet. I said to her at what point do they want you to come, is it when she has passed away. She was confused but saw reason. And started making plans anyway her mum passed away before she made the booking she left the next day after her mum passed away. It was sad very sad I cried cos the very last time she spoke to her mum I was with her. Her last words to her daughter were. I AM FIGHTING THIS THING YOU KNOW WHAT A FIGHTER I AM.

What bugs me now is I always wonder which one of us is going to die first (i.e. me and my siblings) I know it sounds weird and sick but it just bothers me all the time. Am I the only on that thinks this way or do other people think this way. I have never discussed this with anybody before. I might have but boyfie who is the closest person to me right now is so scared of the word DEATH.

DEATH AND THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND

2008-02-22T02:30:00.000-08:00

I get really worked up when somebody dies whether I know the person or I don’t. It is just the way I am.

Quite recently my colleagues mum died of breast cancer. I never met the woman before but she talked about her all the time. In a strange way she (my friend knew the end was near but chose denial) and so she talked about her all the time. By the way her mum was back in her country (Last King Of Scotland Location).Hence all information regarding her mum’s health was over the phone.

I remember the day she was told her mum had been rushed to the hospital. I said I think you should be planning a trip home like ASAP. She replied that her dad said she should not come home yet. I said to her at what point do they want you to come, is it when she has passed away. She was confused but saw reason. And started making plans anyway her mum passed away before she made the booking she left the next day after her mum passed away. It was sad very sad I cried cos the very last time she spoke to her mum I was with her. Her last words to her daughter were. I AM FIGHTING THIS THING YOU KNOW WHAT A FIGHTER I AM.
What bugs me now is I always wonder which one of us is going to die first (i.e. me and my siblings)
I know it sounds weird and sick but it just bothers me all the time. Am I the only on that thinks this way or do other people think this way. I have never discussed this with anybody before.

The Story Continues

2008-02-21T05:21:00.000-08:00

Okay sometimes I am not the most rational person. And believe me when I say this. When I am upset I tend to do the most absurd things like getting into the relationship I am now. No regrets there though I am not perfect (neither are you ha ha ha)So far so good we have had our fair share of ups and downs. And I can even say that I have tripped for him completely. At the beginning I did not send but now I do with all my heart. And if I catch any chick with boyfie I might have a seizure and die seeing that I am not violent (gentle lady ni mi emi kin se fighter).
I finally pick boyfies call and he is full of apologies

Boyfie: haba babe why have you not called me.

Misspumping: I was giving you time I feel as though I am bothering you to much

Boyfie: How can you say that? I thot I told you that I had food poisoning I am so stressed out. I still have not gone to see your people, my mum and dad are supposed to be coming with me bla bla bla. In fact I am going to have extend my trip so that every thing can fall into place.

Misspumping: It is just a day’s trip, it is not as if you are going to spend the night there or anything Are you joking or you are serious.

Boyfie: I am serious. Love you and I miss can’t wait to see you but I have to do what I have to do. Tell you what babe, I will call you later or you can call later cant stay too long on the phone I am driving take care.

And you know what they say about the devil he is a bastard and a liar. Misspumping by now is outraged that she calls an exie and hangs out with him to revenge. We hooked up at the west end and talked and groped but stopped there cos I realize that I really should not be doing that shit and I really don’t want to loose boyfie.( Boyfie and exie are constantly waging battle over me.)

Bearing in mind that all everybody talks about is “*Marriage*”. I need to repent for these sins. The question I ask myself at this point is that if and when I get married to boyfie, am I going to call exie every time Boyfie upsets me. I am scared o.

I want to tell you a story

2008-02-20T03:15:00.000-08:00

i have been putting of blogging for some time now but i have just realised that i dont want to put it of any longer . if i hold off any longer i risk madness so i will do what i like to do i shall write and let off steam.

Boyfie (boyfriend) is driving me up the wall. Boyfie who i started dating out of retaliation cos an ex was getting married is now holding me to ransom .I did not even care about him when i started dating him, he is now the one that is making me so moody that i have to keep myself mentally occupied or risk high blood pressure just thinking about him .such is this life o.

The story is that boyfie and i are planning to get married at least so i thought when we were palnning his trip to naija to go and prepare the ground for my arrival . Boyfie is now in naija and is frolicking up and down so much so that he has not even been to see my folks and guess what he is due back in 5 days time. i just want to scream is this how this bombaclat is going to put his senior sista to shame not that i am older than him or anything like that . it is just that i have to assume the position of older sister as the bomba clat cant realy think when i am not there.

The most painful part is that when i call boyfie he is always in a hurry to get me off the phone and then he speaks with a funny accent as if to impress me . this all points to the fact that he is trying to impress somebody nearby definitely not me cos he does not speak with an accent when we are together here .

I kow that chicks are ten a penny in naija but this rasclat should think of all the things we have been through together and all the bloody money i have spent on his trip to naija . when he was toasting me he said they (his family)were comfortable and stuff and that his parents were always on standby if he was broke . i dont see them standing by whenever his car is clamped or his fuel guage is reading low. so much for trying to compete with my ex and hooking myself up with a rmk (rich mans kid)

Guess what rasclat just sent a text from naija professing undying love guess last nites chick is now on the kerb soliciting for her next client.