Wednesday, September 16, 2009


Okay whilst I admit that I am not particularly well endowed in the chest region, I can say that
I have a lot of other things going for me, like my IQ which i daresay cannot be purchased as opposed to mammaries that modupe ozolua can provide. (assuming i can afford them). And yes I am special , I was created this way for a reason bla bla bla. This mantra doesnt work well when your ex is dating the bustiest girl in the world though .

But sometime I tend to feel like an underachiever in the chest region. It is not like as if I pray and fast about it but it does tends to cross my mind afterall it is my body.

This happens especially when I go shopping with friends and they dare to say ""..... I would never get away with wearing that I am way too busty (like as if I dont already SEE that) it is for people like you.

(me thinking ......people like who oh! now I am not a normal person any more because I am small in that region)

Sad as it seems I even have a little game I play where I secretly give free membership to ladies that are equally or not so equally endowed as me (forgive the pun) in the chest region. As Iwalk pass them I smile at them and under my breath say hello club member because that is what we are club members.......small bosom club members hahaha.

Ps. if a small chested lady has smiled at you in the mall, street, gym, office and you are that way too, it must have been me.

But just the other day, as I made my way to whereever it was that I was going, (Oh by the way I love fashion) just ahead of me was one sharply dressed lady, from the hair to the bag however she had a limp not so obvious but it was there. She carried it of nicely and trust me i was dying to see her from the front.

She was dead on trend. The accessories everything well cordinated and the bosoms were on display. In line with the saying if you've got them flaunt them. I was truly happy for her she didnt let the limp get in the way of her life.

And then it hit me would I swop my barely theres with her
Would she swop her limp for my barely theres ......i dont know and dont realy care to know.

All I know is that at that moment in time I loved mybarely theres

There are more pressing issues than barely theres . And by the way a club member just walked into the room.

Friday, September 11, 2009



These were the words that crossed my my mind when the ex toaster (guy who asked me out) invited me to the christening of his baby boy. OH LAWD it should have been me.

I just thot to myself another one bites the dust why the fuck didnt i just say yes to this BLOKE that would have been our baby christening. oh well cest la vie as they say in "Nice " (I realy want to visit Nice)

So off to the the baby christening all smiles but pining inside.

On getting there i am secretly and mind boggingly happy that the missus has gained a tonne or so in weight (serves her right for saying yes to the man I could have married)

But i still wished that I was the one every was fussing over.

Did all the polite things people do at baby christening and as I bid goodbye to the lovely couple .. ex toaster says he will drop me off at the station and so we head forth.

Alas he has something on his mind eating away, and he wants to talk to the one person the wifey will probabbly never believe in case words get out.

Ex toaster..... i dont know what came over me but in the last couple of months i have been cheating on the missus

Misspumping.....(thinking)Oh no he didnt That could have been me.

Ex toaster.....with her being pregnant and all, her drive being low i just needed to talk to some body and one thing sort of led to another and ...... i met this girl.......

Misspumping .....(still thinking "That could have been me this low life good for nothing could have been cheating on") smiling outward urging him on . I need to hear this, every piece of information is vital. So that i can bury this never was relationship finally..on and on he goes where they went for the weekend, where they had their seedy retreats . Everything and i mean everything,. No gory stone is left unturned . And I listen in pretence sadness

Ex toaster....and do you know the sad part is that i dont feel any remorse , I dont feel married at all I look at the missus and it feels like I am dreaming, I need to change.

Misspumping ...(Still Thinking but this time grateful that that wasnt me )

So despite the grass looking greener in their nice house with the white pickett fence and all i am so grateful that could have been but it is not me .