Thursday, October 29, 2009


I met Pastor Muyo at Kings Cross/St Psncreas Intl Station in Sept 2007 and boy was he fine (he still is)at the time i was seeing an energy vampire whose only mission and sole pleasure in life was to drain me of whatever enegy or joy I had. He was such an underachiever

We i.e Pastor Muyiwa and I had been in the same carriage many atimes but had only acknowledged each other by a casual glance.
Anyway on the said day we met i saw him hobbling as fast as he could (he must have sprained something since the last time we saw)to catch the train. Icould not pose cos I saw his agony and made first conversation/contact by conveying to him that the train had been cancelled.

He thanked me profusely and that was the beginning of our train romance (nothing sordid I just like the ring it has train romance....)

He would keep a sit for me on the cramped up trains ignoring the hissing , sighing and muttering of immigrants keeping sits for other immigrants (if only they knew that back home we were chaffeur driven and to be reduced to catching trains ....I digress)and I on the other hand would slay 7 dragons swim 7 seas and climb 7 mountains to catch the 6.05 train where Pastor Muyo would regal me with tales about God sent wife
I on the other hand would hint about my vampire hoping he would tell me to get rid of the wanker he was to much of a gentleman as he did no such thing.I left this town a year ago Oct 2008 and made no contact with Pastor Muyo and only had with me the memories of our several train alliances.

Fastforward to Oct 09 I met Pastor Muyo on the same train and guess what he had stopped going to church, put on weight and His lovely wife had become a monster. How do these happen?

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


Okay whilst I admit that I am not particularly well endowed in the chest region, I can say that
I have a lot of other things going for me, like my IQ which i daresay cannot be purchased as opposed to mammaries that modupe ozolua can provide. (assuming i can afford them). And yes I am special , I was created this way for a reason bla bla bla. This mantra doesnt work well when your ex is dating the bustiest girl in the world though .

But sometime I tend to feel like an underachiever in the chest region. It is not like as if I pray and fast about it but it does tends to cross my mind afterall it is my body.

This happens especially when I go shopping with friends and they dare to say ""..... I would never get away with wearing that I am way too busty (like as if I dont already SEE that) it is for people like you.

(me thinking ......people like who oh! now I am not a normal person any more because I am small in that region)

Sad as it seems I even have a little game I play where I secretly give free membership to ladies that are equally or not so equally endowed as me (forgive the pun) in the chest region. As Iwalk pass them I smile at them and under my breath say hello club member because that is what we are club members.......small bosom club members hahaha.

Ps. if a small chested lady has smiled at you in the mall, street, gym, office and you are that way too, it must have been me.

But just the other day, as I made my way to whereever it was that I was going, (Oh by the way I love fashion) just ahead of me was one sharply dressed lady, from the hair to the bag however she had a limp not so obvious but it was there. She carried it of nicely and trust me i was dying to see her from the front.

She was dead on trend. The accessories everything well cordinated and the bosoms were on display. In line with the saying if you've got them flaunt them. I was truly happy for her she didnt let the limp get in the way of her life.

And then it hit me would I swop my barely theres with her
Would she swop her limp for my barely theres ......i dont know and dont realy care to know.

All I know is that at that moment in time I loved mybarely theres

There are more pressing issues than barely theres . And by the way a club member just walked into the room.

Friday, September 11, 2009



These were the words that crossed my my mind when the ex toaster (guy who asked me out) invited me to the christening of his baby boy. OH LAWD it should have been me.

I just thot to myself another one bites the dust why the fuck didnt i just say yes to this BLOKE that would have been our baby christening. oh well cest la vie as they say in "Nice " (I realy want to visit Nice)

So off to the the baby christening all smiles but pining inside.

On getting there i am secretly and mind boggingly happy that the missus has gained a tonne or so in weight (serves her right for saying yes to the man I could have married)

But i still wished that I was the one every was fussing over.

Did all the polite things people do at baby christening and as I bid goodbye to the lovely couple .. ex toaster says he will drop me off at the station and so we head forth.

Alas he has something on his mind eating away, and he wants to talk to the one person the wifey will probabbly never believe in case words get out.

Ex toaster..... i dont know what came over me but in the last couple of months i have been cheating on the missus

Misspumping.....(thinking)Oh no he didnt That could have been me.

Ex toaster.....with her being pregnant and all, her drive being low i just needed to talk to some body and one thing sort of led to another and ...... i met this girl.......

Misspumping .....(still thinking "That could have been me this low life good for nothing could have been cheating on") smiling outward urging him on . I need to hear this, every piece of information is vital. So that i can bury this never was relationship finally..on and on he goes where they went for the weekend, where they had their seedy retreats . Everything and i mean everything,. No gory stone is left unturned . And I listen in pretence sadness

Ex toaster....and do you know the sad part is that i dont feel any remorse , I dont feel married at all I look at the missus and it feels like I am dreaming, I need to change.

Misspumping ...(Still Thinking but this time grateful that that wasnt me )

So despite the grass looking greener in their nice house with the white pickett fence and all i am so grateful that could have been but it is not me .

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


Hello guys yes i have been missing in action. Not exactly due to any fault of mine, all sorts of things have been going on in my life. Relocating to naija was not easy i settled in but after a while i fled the nest.

There are blokes in naija i met in the span of eight months more guys than i met in london in five years so there is hope. Only down side is that most of them dont tick most of the boxes not expecting them to tick all the boxes but at least most of the boxes will do.Another thing is that they like london girls maybe to show off that see what i got or to collect the small change but that is not happening.

I have been bk in london for some time now. i resigned the boss was literally breathing down my neck and went as far as being rude (on several occasions).

Not after being trained in the ways of the queen am i going to stand for that kind of crap .
NO siree

i am thinking of setting up my thing now . Thinking of going into the arts i have a passion for the arts, so i might open a gallery or even do fashion photography professionally.

Everybody says that i should have stayed in naija i am only passing through want to take some courses but most consultants i have met with say that i should just buy the gadgets and learn on the job

we will see how it goes.

Happy to be back

meanwhile what happened to silent screams blog please come bk.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

It has been a long time coming

Ha my peeps naija no easy ,

I entered naija feeling like a big girl . the first thing i learnt within a few weeks was that the realy big boys and girls live here and not in london. whist london gives you that sense of security and comfort. The reality is that it is all based on a credit (well sort of).

Naija has been a hell of a roller coaster. i have almost finally settled in i have been working for a month now.It is not exactly the kind of job i wanted but at least it is okay i got an official car and my own office the pay is not double what i earned in london but i dont have to pay rent every month so i can save a bit.

i also found out that away experience and away masters is plenty moreso now with all the credit crunch thousands are relocating to naija .so they are not exactly queing up to employ me thank God that i am a professional imagine not being a professional e for bad gan

i am happy i am bk sha but things still need to pick up.eyin peeps pls pray for me.

As per boyfie i went on a fact finding mission only to find out that he is from a not so so tapping family. his mum is a darling but the rest are just something else when God answers your prayers u just dont get it until it smacks you right in the face. he was bad news anyway he never realy cared but u lot know how it can be.

now that i am on form i will definitelydo my bit